With all due respect to Marty Robbins…

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
Trump fell in love with a Mexican wall
Nighttime would find him in Rudy’s cantina
Music would play and Melania would whirl

Blacker than night were the eyes of Melania
Wicked and evil she gave Donald hell
Trump’s spite was deep for the Mexican Nation
He was in love, but in vain, for a wall.

One night a cowboy named Mueller came in
Wild as the West Texas wind
Dashing and daring, no drink was he sharing
With wicked Butina, the girl the NRA loved

So in anger Trump challenged the right
For the love of this maiden
Down went his hand for the phone that he wore
His challenge was answered in a less than ten characters
The handsome special counselor indicted two more

Just for a moment Trump stood there in silence
Shocked by the subpoena that had just been done
Many thoughts raced through his mind as he stood there
He had but one chance and that was to run

Out through the back door of Rudy’s he ran
Out where the Russian planes reside
He picked a good one, it looked like it could run
Across the tarmac, away Trump did fly

Just as fast as he could from
The West Texas town of El Paso
Back to the swamp of the D.C. beltway

Back in El Paso Trump’s life was worthless
Everyone’s gone to hell, nothing is left
It won’t be long til the demise of this young nation
Trump’s love of money is stronger than death

Mueller saddled up and away he did go
Investigating all the green cash
Maybe tomorrow he’d interview Comey
This fight is for all the marbles, a pass in the ass.

And at last here’s Trump
On a hill overlooking Russia
He can see Putin’s cantina below
Their bromance a strong one and it pushes his onward
Down off the hill to Vladimir he must go

Off to his right Trump sees five mounted lawyers
Off to his left ride a dozen of more
Shouting and tweeting, he can’t let them catch him
He has to make it to Putin’s back door.

Something is dreadfully wrong Trump seethes
A deep burning pain in his side
Though he’s been trying to avoid the McGriddle
His health is nasty, unable to chide

And Trump’s love for Ivanka is strong
But laundering cash is his calling
Though he is orange, he says he’s the best
He’s just a white bluff and a dumb joke from Queens
We all can’t wait for his timely arrest

From out of nowhere Melania has found him
She slaps him and slaps him until he wants to die
Cradled two sons he actually despises
He has one last Big Mac, takes a breath, and he dies.